Members of Somerton's community were shocked to learn at this week's Council Meeting, that yet another investigation is to be launched into the activities of Somerton Town Council. Coming hard on the heels of the news that the current investigation could cost as much as €18,000,000 euros, the news of this new development stunned the audience.
Muck&Brass can announce that the investigation is to be undertaken by none other than mustachiod lothario and international trouble-shooter Inspector Gary Raybouldi. Inspector Raybouldi sprang to world attention when he solved the infamous 'Colonel Mustard and the lead pipe' murder case in the sleepy Cotswold village of Waddington.
Speaking in his softest Corsican burr, Inspector Raybouldi was quick to declare a personal and prejudicial interest in the investigation given the fact that he had been personally involved with Somerton Town Council at the time of what is known as the 'crockery scandal'. He went on to explain that he would leave no stone unturned in his efforts to unmask the gang, known locally as 'the old guard', who he believes were the masterminds behind the 'crockery scandal'.
Speaking privately to Muck&Brass, Inspector Raybouldi explained that his investigation would be entirely independent and unbiased, guaranteeing the people of Somerton something that he described as 'a whitewash'.
An un-named source in Inspector Raybouldi's office provided the diagram below which was claimed to explain Inspector Raybouldi's strategy.
Till next time, I'm not George Dixon.